In just one year, your precious baby has evolved from helpless infant to adorable toddler. By 12 months he spends most waking hours developing his gross motor skills, one wobbly step at a time. (“Look, Ma, no hands!”) Fall down? No problem! With a giggle or a grunt and the help of his grubby little palms, he’s right back up. Simultaneously, he’s also honing fine motor skills—grabbing, pinching and slapping everything in sight.
Some babies will talk during this phase, and others won’t just yet. But no matter what your child can verbalize, you can be fairly certain that there’s a big jump in comprehension underway. Sign language is a great way to combine his boost in motor skills with his growing understanding of language. Teach him the simple signs for “more” and “eat,” and prepare to take orders!
He is just starting to walk, something he’ll do with a wobbly wide stance at first. But don’t be surprised if he suddenly drops on all fours in order to reach a new toy faster. As balance improves, his stance will become narrower, his walking more assured—and he will be able to toddle while clutching a favorite stuffed animal.
P.S. Don’t be concerned if your walker starts to crawl again and seems to be reverting. Kids are incredibly self-motivated. He doesn’t need rewards or special training. He’ll get back on his feet on his own.
He’s reaching for toys using the all-important pincer grasp with his thumb and forefinger. He pokes them with his index finger, bangs them together to see what noise they make and is even able to stack them. By the time he’s 18 months old, he may build a tower that’s several blocks high.
P.S. Constructing a tower of blocks is tougher than it looks. It may look repetitive and boring, but to a toddler, this is an activity with multiple steps and built-in challenges. For example, he’ll have to resist the impulse to knock the tower over when it’s just one block high.
His brain is abuzz with activity as he hones his memory skills and explores and examines objects in every possible way. Like a mad scientist, he puts his toys through their paces to learn what they’ll do. He pinches and pokes toys to feel them, shakes and bangs them to hear what sound they’ll make, and drops them to watch how fast they’ll fall over and over again. Repetition is the key. Every time he repeats something, he’s not just having fun, he’s refining a skill.
P.S. To your toddler, everything is an experiment—even dropping food off of his highchair. As adults, we know how gravity works, but your toddler is excited by it. (We may also have a lively reaction to him dropping the food, and that’s another kind of experiment for him!)
Tears and tantrums are not uncommon as he first begins to experience separation anxiety. He may have a meltdown when someone other than Mom attempts to engage him in a favorite game. He’s developing a memory of who his caregiver is and who he feels safe with. This translates into having specific preferences for people and toys. Still, he loves to imitate others, and every activity is an opportunity to play “monkey see, monkey do.”
P.S. Your toddler has the expectation that he can have everything he wants, and sometimes his expectations exceed his capabilities. This is an “all about me” phase, and when he doesn’t get what he wants or can’t accomplish something, a tantrum is his simple way of sending this message to you. Don’t take tantrums personally; instead, see them as part of the growing process. (Easier said than done sometimes!)
“Play remains a child’s most powerful way of learning. She can test out many different situations and actions to see which one works best for her…. It is hard to overestimate the importance of play for a small child.”
—T. Berry Brazelton, M.D., Touchpoints Birth to Three
“In a play group, toddlers can practice their social skills while enjoying (or at least learning to enjoy) the company and camaraderie of other children. But play groups are as beneficial for parents as they are for toddlers. Swapping war stories, seeing and hearing that you’re not alone—that your toddler is not the only one who’s having a hard time sharing, not the only one who’s been hitting or biting, not the only one who’s been throwing tantrums, or not the only one who won’t eat anything but cereal—can be remarkably therapeutic.”
—Heidi Murkoff, Arlene Eisenberg and Sandee Hathaway, B.S.N., What to Expect the Toddler Years
“When my daughter was 13 months, she loved it when I pretended to sleep and let her play ‘Mommy.’ She'd spread her blanket over me and pat my back. It was a nice, quiet game, but I think it also showed she understood caring and was becoming capable of more imaginative play.”
—Emily, Boston, MA
“My 14-month-old is fascinated by the younger children at her daycare. When I pick her up, she likes to say goodbye to them, and sometimes says ‘Bye bye, Baby’ the whole ride home.”
—Allison, Cincinnati, OH
“My 1-year-old falls quite a bit now while she’s playing with her toys and pulling herself up to stand at her activity center. We love how it never seems to stop her. She dusts herself off and tries again.”
—Tracy, Palm Springs, CA